i'm in the computer room, bored, and can't think of anything fun to do. I have a class tomorrow at 12, so I can stay in bed all morning.

I've been staying here in Korea for two months now, and so far my life has been both good and bad.

The good part is the leisure and the freedom I am enjoying here in this different world. I was never able to go out on a trip on a weekly basis back in the Philippines, simply because I didn't have the money. Now, with the schorlaship granted to me, I can be anywhere in Korea I want to be.

The bad part is the leisure and the freedom I am enjoying in this different world. I have sunk to this state of lethargy and indifference, as if the rest of my [real] world is walled out by a cloud of seeming everlasting happiness. I'm taking pleasure in this great opportunity given to me, but with what I'm doing with it, I seem to be the least deserving person to receive it.

Everyday, I get more bored about my life here.

And I thought it was my dream to be here? But it is, and I'm very thankful that I'm here. But how could I have let myself grow into someone unproductive and useless? All afternoon I just stay in my room sleeping or re-reading a book. If not, I find myself sitting in front of the computer, updating my blogs, uploading photos, checking on my friends' lives.

I wake up; I have breakfast (seldom, since I wake up late); I go back to my room; I have lunch; I go back to my room; I have dinner; I go back to my room. I sleep at 12 or 1 am. That's how my life here goes.

I could be spending time with my friends? Or studying Korean? Or walking around the school, discovering new places? Or making new friends in places I go to? Or going to church? Or looking for interesting books in the library? Or spending time with God?

Why did all these things just come to me now? How could I have let my first two months here come to waste?

And I thank you God for this wonderful realization. Please strengthen me to overpower sloth. Please.

It's been ten years since I last posted a blog entry here. Oh well.

I can't think of anything to type here today, so I guess I'll just post one when I'm in the mood. :-) 

1. Ano ang student number mo? Gusto mo ba ito?
03-15469. Me choice ba ko kung ayaw ko?

3. Meron ka bang araw na wala kang break? Anung technique ang ginagawa mo para makakain ka?
Wala yata. Madalas lang, natatapat ang subjects ko sa lunch time, keya naglulunch ako before/after ng class.

4. Alam mo ba kung saan ang Teletubby Land? [Yung totoo, bawal bumase sa pinagkuhanan ng survey na ito]
Matanda nako sa UP. pero hindi ko alam...may alam akong Teletubby land, pero hindi sa UP..

5. Nakakita ka na ba ng nagpi-PDA? Sa AS? As in sa AS Entrance? In Broad Daylight? In front of many people? Ikaw ba yung gumagawa nun?
Wala pa. Nakapikit kasi ako pag naggaganun ako. Joke. Thankfully wala pa talaga.

6. Naranasan mo na bang dumaan sa Beta Way? Kahit madilim na?
Dumadaan ako dun minsan, pero hindi sa gabi... 

7. Alam mo ba na may 4th Floor ang FC?
Hindi. and i don't really care. First floor palang, nakakawalang gana nang pumasok. ^^

8. Within the UP Campus, ano na ang pinakamalayo mong nalakad?
di ko na alam. madalas din ako maglakad around UP, at lahat malalayo...

9.  Meal? [Geog1 + Comm3]
Dayen: "di ko gets." Ako din, diko gets. ;-)

10. Sa tingin mo, bakit concealed ang profs sa Math?
Kasi pangit sila. Hehe, joke. Kasi me mga bwesit na kupal.

11. Nakakuha ka na ba ng Math prof na out-of-this-world?
Diko alam kung mako-consider na "out-of-this-world" yung naging prof ko sa 53. Anyway, weird sya.

12. Natatakot ka ba sa tumutunog na kuryente sa tabi ng EEE building?
Nung una. nasanay nalang. Pero katakot lalo na pag umuulan...

13. Ilang individual libraries na ang napuntahan mo within Up Diliman? Isa-isahin.
Educ, CHK, NIDMED, Science, Pop Inst, Archi...

14. Nakanood ka na ba ng Oblation Run? At namukhaan na isa doon ay kaklase mo?
Sa Diliman hindi pa. Sa LB palang yung nakita ko...

15. Nakakita ka na ba ng Atenean na nakatambay sa UP Campus? At naki-sit in sa klase niyo?
Oo. Issue ba yun? ;-)

16. Nakakita ka na ba ng artista na nag-aaral sa UP? Saan?
si Tita Glow (nung Lantern Parade, tapat ng Malcolm) Paula Peralejo (sa AS), at yung isang host sa Studio 23 (sa SC). Ewan ko pangalan.

17. Sa tingin mo, ano ang pinakamahirap na subject sa UP?
EdArt 175. Puro papel.

18. Alam mo ba na tumutunog ang Carillon?
Oo. Ang lakas nga e. Grabe.

19. Nakapasok ka na ba sa College of Music? Kwento mo naman.
Hindi pa. Nadadaanan ko lang. Bakit, me parteh ba dun?

20. Nagpapic ka na kay Oble? Kung oo, confident ka ba na gagraduate ka?
Hindi pa. At hindi ko alam na may sumpa thing pala yun...buti nalang...^^

21. May College Shirt ka ba? Anu design?
Ang weird, wala ako mi isa...

22. Naranasan mo na bang mag 1 vs 100 sa CRS?
Oh yes. Lalo na sa PE.

23. Naglalaro ka ba ng Guess the Course/Spot that Freshie kapag wala kang magawa habang tumatambay sa AS? Isinasabay mo ba ang Girl/Boy Hunting sa larong ito?
Nilalaro ko yun everywhere. ;-)

24. Nangungulekta ka ba ng Kule? Ano ang favorite section mo dito?
Naiipon siya sa bahay, pero hindi para kolektahin. Gusto ko lang yung komiks, kaso wala na  si Leni bedspacer...

25. Sino ang pinakastriktong guard sa UP na nakilala mo? Yung hindi mo talaga matakasan na wala kang ID?
Yung sa Main Lib. ^^

26. Nakukulangan ka pa ba sa ruta ng Ikot at Toki Jeep? Anung gusto mong ibahin sa ruta nito?
Hindi kulang, haggard lang kapag nagmamadali ka, iikot pa talaga siya... 

27. Natatakot ka ba sa mga tingin ng mga nangangampanya tuwing Elections? Bakit?
mas natatakot ako sa bibig nila. daming lumalabas eh. ^^

28. May bura ka na ba sa Form 5 mo? Anu yon?
Marami na. 2 sems ago yata yung isa. na-enlist ko yung NatSci1, akala ko NatSci2, e tapos nako nun sa NatSci1...
 
29. Nagkaprof ka na ba na laging wala sa klase tapos tinadtad kayo ng make-up classes sa end ng sem? Sino?
Buti wala pa. Asar naman yun. 

30. Alam mo ba kung saan ginagawa ang Blue Book? Gusto mo bang magventure sa business na ito?
I haven't the slightest idea...pero magandang business yan, kaso seasonal lang...^^

         
         Yeah, I heard that. "It's about time for an update."
         For the past few months of being partial to Multiply, several things have happened to my quite-so-pathetic and predictable life, too many I can't count nor enumerate them. All I can remember is that Puerto Galera is darn beautiful yet already dirty and Heath Ledger has died.
         As I tear each sheet off my calendar, I realize how much time I have spent on earth, trying to ponder on how meaningfully and productively I did it, and how little time I have left to accomplish my purpose in life. My seemingly promising future is truly not something eviable or something to be proud of. At this moment I can say I'm losing control of the wheel.
         I remember asking my mom about UP. She told me that if you get to study there, you'd be famous all over the neighborhood. That time I knew nothing about UP, so I thought, "What's the big deal? It's just a school." And then I saw an article from the school paper of my brother, showing the pictures of two student "passing the UPCAT". "Okay," I said, "and so?"
         Years went by, learned more about UP, took the entrance test, passed, and started studying in one of the most prestigious universities of the country, unquote. I take pride in this great opportunity I was given, and I'd say that passing the entrance exam is one of my greatest accomplishments in life. But things change. Now, being a UP student doesn't matter that much anymore. The one-million-peso question now is, how soon will you graduate?
         Ouch. Considering the present pitiable condition of my life, I think it's totally unfair to ask me that question. Try my shoes on, see if you can do what I do. But I can't help but admire my friends who have just received their diplomas. I even want to cry because of the miserable state of my academics. By the way, I've lost my passion to study because of that. Burn those books, I don't need them anymore.
         Recently I took the Enneagram personality test and the MBTI, and the results (#3 and ISFP, respectively) were not surprising at all. But it amazes me how much I have changed over time. Perhaps it all started when problems began to come to my family. I'm introverted (go ahead and scoff), but I now have more confidence in myself.
         The only good thing about my life now is that I'm more active as a part of the church. I don't simply go to church every Sunday, I serve there as a lector. I'm even a member of the youth organization in our parish. Despite all these problems I have, there are still so many things that I should be thankful for, things that I often overlook.
         This time, at least, I have something to prove that a portion of my temporary stay on earth was alloted for things that benefit others. Yeah, something to be proud of. But all of these are from Him, and for Him. I'm proud of Him. Yes, I've lost control of the wheel. Lost it to give it to His hands. Thank you God.

               The privileges of being a UP student are not limited to the broad range of job offers upon graduation, or the opportunity to "the best quality of education there is." Perhaps we may include the chance to use the internet gratis when the class ends early. Just as what I am doing now.

--------------------------------------------

                We just had the presentation of our product for our Educ190 class (Computers in Education), where we created our own database of whatever topic we wished to choose. Though I'm very well aware that MS Access is installed in our computer at home, it is almost never used. I've heard the word "database" many times, but I never bothered ask what the heck it meant. Then I took this class, Educ190. And yes, the subject is rather fun (or maybe it's just because of the free internet access…).

                And I thought making a database wasn't that complicated. But when you find out how to connect the right tables, show the right relationships of your data, voila! you have a database. Aside from that, you can even change the format of your switchboard, so that when someone else uses your database, it would be presentable and easy to use.

                But our database shrank to oblivion when the other groups showed theirs. Our database was intended to be used by class advisers (when they input student grades) and students (when they want to view their grades). The other groups' databases were both visually good and very functional. Not to mention they were easy to use. A group made a database for poetry (showing lists of poems, poets, and lots of additional info), another for taxonomy. I guess a little creativity would have made ours more appealing. (I'm speaking only for myself; my groupmates seem satisfied with our work…)

                Anyway, learning how to use MS Access surely will help me someday, when I'm sitting in the faculty room and siphoning off all my energy into making lesson plans and recording some bloody student grades. I'm so looking forward to it.

1. nakagraduate na last March, aba, anong saya ko no'n!!!
2. nag-aral mabuti last semester, hindi siguro ako mamumroblema sa aking mga subjects this semester. Nag-focus kasi ako sa work e (*toink*)
3. hindi nakapasok sa aking current workplace, hindi ako matututong magsalita sa Ingles nang maayos, at hindi rin ako mate-train magturo, at hindi rin masusubok ang aking pasensya sa mga istudyanteng pasaway
4. pupunta ng Korea ngayon mismo, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko dun. Ayon nga sa aking nabasang libro, ang Seoul, Korea ay isa sa mga major cities sa mundo na malamang hindi maa-afford ng mga ordinaryong tao. So kung hindi ako makakabili ng kahit toothpick dun, ba't pa ko pupunta? (Joke lang)
5. nakagraduate na last March, hindi ko sigurado kung may mahahanap kaagad akong trabaho. Natakot nga ako kasi yung ilang kilala kong graduate na sabi, "Mahirap mag-aral sa kolehiyo; mas mahirap pagkatapos mag-aral sa kolehiyo"
6. magiging math teacher sa high school, baka ilang taon lang ako tatagal. Gusto ko rin naman talaga math, pero, like I always say, hindi nare-reciprocate ang affection na yon...sad ;-(
7. natuloy sa fine arts, at grumaduate, siguro katrabaho ko na ang mga taga-Team Manila. Ang astig ng mga gawa nila, gusto ko nga pumunta ng store nila. Ang ganda ng shirts. Makabayan pa.
8. hindi Math major ngayon, baka nag-Lingguistics ako or Architecture. Siguro i-second degree ko na lang yun. (gudlak naman dun)
9. maraming perang pang-lustay ngayon, ang bibilhin ko ay isa (o higit pa) sa mga sumusunod: iPhone, iPod video, Korean-English English-Korean electronic dictionary, laptop, Olympus digicam, iRiver U10, Samsung T9
10. masaya sa buhay, ba't ko hinihiling ang mga 'to?

               This is just one of those very rare occasions when I can stay upstairs in my room at noon without needing to sit in front of the electric fan, full-blast, and still having my shirt soaking wet with perspiration, or whistling with all my lungs out the window to summon all the gods of the cool winds to pay me a visit. Ah, the wonders of the rainy days. Each drop touching my palm is just refreshing; the rain's peaceful noise alleviates all my anxieties in life.
   
               But when you see the news on TV, you'll have a second thought about the rain. It doesn't seem so beautiful anymore. In fact, it isn't beautiful at all. At least in the Philippine context. Suddenly, the sound of the raindrops become as disturbing as gunshots, and the winds like troops of horses stampeding over the roofs. 
               
               Billboards turning into gigantic flags flapping over dozens of cars and passersby, threatening their lives. Makes me wonder how the government lets these humongous ads be hung over crowded establishments without ensuring people's safety. Merely the hundred-pound tarpaulin falling on you might cause serious injuries, what more if its metal scaffoldings follow.





           
               Roads turning into rivers in a few moments, you won't need a rain gauge to conclude that there had been a very heavy rain. I was stranded in this street for almost an hour, hoping the water would recede before I get late for work. Well, I did, and to top it, all I had was a pair of wet shoes, inside and out, and a longing for a nice cup of hot coffee. And I thought they are done with the drainage system? Curses.


               Within a few hours, typhoon Egay destroyed houses, streets, government properties, and lives. Classes suspended (the only good thing that happened), and traffic at the worst condition. How kind of him he remembered visiting our country. And by next week, Egay will have left the country. Why complain, anyway? We've been living in this country for ages, and by now we should know how devastating typhoons are here in the Philippines. But of course we should do something to avoid these tragic incidences happen.

               But let me sleep first, now's the perfect time to rest.
               Ah, my cool, soft pillows...

         It's been a while. Sorry about that. It's really some tough job juggling three tasks at the same time. School is starting to gain weight on my shoulders. Exams are drawing nearer and nearer. Lots of requirements plummeting my way. Ugh. I can barely catch my breath.

         And I haven't even mentioned about my being appointed as Vice President of our organization, UP Arirang. They say VPs have the least of worries among all the officers in the organization. But I don't think so! ^^ All of us have just equal burdens to carry. But I'm happy I can help the organization now, since last semester I was so useless a member as a stone.

         Plus work. Just so you know (in case you still don't know), I came back to Mission Center, though it was against my will. And my, how painful it was to my pride. It's as if people didn't want me back, continually asking me why I was there, and why I was back... :-( [or maybe I was overreacting] Anyway, I would really want to work somewhere else, though honestly I want to come back there too. Hmm~ still indecisive... Besides, I have other students to teach in another institute. They're about to take the UPCAT (the entrance exam in UP). I just hope they'd make it.

         And finally rainy days has commenced (or so I assume --- I just want the hot days to be over ^^). Before, only at night did it rain, but now even when I wake up in the morning it's still raining. I'm happy about it, but not completely. I don't like rainy days that much, because I always have to cross flooded streets, and mosquitoes start to create big clans. :-) In fact, a mosquito just bit me on my leg. *scratch*

         I wonder how the weather in Korea is now. Is it as dry or as wet as here? Guess what, my listening skills in Korean has improved significantly! But not as good as you might expect. Now, somehow I can understand a simple conversation. I'm happy about it. :-) But of course I still got lots of words to learn. And I'm thrilled. :-)

         What more can I say? Well, do take care always, wherever you are.

         Hoping the best for you.


                                                                                                                        ~mac

         A once in a lifetime experience again. Once, and never again. That's for sure. Not the trip to Subic, but the very thing that we did in Subic. I promise by my nose hair, I shall never do it again.

         I just came back from Subic, where I was invited by a friend of mine to be a registration assistant for an event. It was a summer vacation party (quite late I guess) for the agents, employees, and clients of Sykes, the pioneer, according to them, in the call center industry in the Philippines. The guests were expected to arrive at the venue by 11:00 am yesterday, June 23, so us, the production staff, had to get there as early as 7:00 am to arrange things.

         We were appointed to do the assigning of rooms for the guests and the releasing of the door keys. We set up our table, hooked up the computer, readied the wrist bands (which were their tickets for the concert that night) and maps to be given away. We took our seats with the 5,000 Kelvin heat engrossing us, and a great anticipation of a difficult yet fun day ahead. I realized later that it was only the former.

         Ding-ding! when the clock hit 11:00am. This is it, our minds said in chorus. We waited for the guests to come. And we waited. And waited. Until we got so drained and haggard, but thankfully they came eventually. The keys became fewer and fewer every hour, and the hotel rooms became crowded. The pressure was on me because I handled the rooms for the clients, i.e. the VIPs, so a slight mistake can lead to my eternal damnation. Fortunately, I made only one slight mistake, I forgot to give the VIP IDs...hehe, but our team leader took care of it, and everything else went well. Toink.

         We took off at 10pm, happy to know that our tasks were attended to duly, though not yet completely finished. We crept up to our beds in the very cold rooms of the hotel, with the comfy amenities available (I took a shower for a long time before sleeping). It truly was some hotel.

         I got up the next day at 8, seeing that the others were all ready for the new day. Luckily I had finished my shift the day before, so I didn't have to worry about anything. We left the hotel at 1, then rode the bus back to Manila. Everything in Subic really was beautiful and pleasing to the eyes, thanks to the American invaders in military costumes.

         The only thing that I just hated is that we worked our butts out for eleven hours straight, waiting for the people to come (late). Oh, why is it so difficult to earn money? But on the bright side, finally I've gone to Subic! Oh yeah. J

         And I thought my life is at its worst. Our enrolment last week made me realize I still had reasons to be happy. Seeing my grades over the internet is just scary, like looking down a deep tunnel. My grades declined over the past four semesters, and when I say decline, I mean completely touching the floor. I flunked two MAJOR subjects. And the thing that saddens me the most is that these subjects should have been easy for me, because I'd learned them years ago. Damn. Now I will have to take them again...ugh...

         I talked to my adviser (who thankfully was kind enough not to rub the issue on my face) and simply told me to do better this semester. "Aye aye capitan! I sure will!" (because if I don't, I'mma kiss UP kong mahal good-bye) When I saw my name on that list of delinquent students (ouch), I, unfortunately, just took the news with indifference. I didn't know how grave the situation was. I even told my friend, "Hey, I'm under probation." (with a smile) Wow, I'm now an official cliffhanger... I haven't even told my parents about this. Well, come to think of it, I don't want to make them worry (dudung! Aren't you the stupidest). That's also the reason I decided to stop teaching in the language center I work in. Though this would also mean a decline in my financial status (which wouldn't hurt much), my diploma still weighs heavier that this transient occupation. Curses.

         Next Sunday is Fathers' Day. I'm just proud of my father, considering all his accomplishments in life, and thankful for everything that he did for us. But if he ever discovers what I have been up to these days, I guess he would not include my existence in his "Life's achievements" list anymore. Dudung. May he never lose his patience...